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Analysis Paralysis

2011-01-05T14:30:00.001Z

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure till you know there is no hook beneath it. - Thomas Jefferson.

Deary me. Oh deary, deary me. 5 months and not a peep. I would give an explanation but there simply is none; you would have no doubt heard it all before anyway. So what brings me back to a seemingly long forgotten venture? Good question, thanks for asking. There is no one true answer to this so I shall just list the reasons, think of them what you will. Guilt, lack of accomplishment, procrastination, depression, anxiety, fear, seclusion. Another reason is becoming evident as I type all of this out; analysis paralysis. I think too much about what I'm going to type out, then when I do I end up deleting line after line before finally coming to a lackluster conclusion. To put it all in perspective, this first paragraph has taken me an hour. After all the distractions, stress and relief that the end of 2010 brought, I am now left with absolutely no expectations for the penultimate year of existence (if the Mayan calendar is to be believed).

Living a full life. Live every second. Make it your business to stay occupied. It's what we all hear from "those who know" in our lives. It's something that has been plaguing my mind for a few weeks now, at night times at least. Which, I suspect, is why I failed my New Years resolution the moment it came to fruition, something most of us tend to do within a fortnight anyway so it's not like I'm bitter. Every single one of my posts are typed out between roughly 10pm and 2am, which is in conjunction with the appearance of my ominous feeling, without fail. "Today has been pointless", "I got nothing worthwhile done at all". After a play-through of how useless I am, an upbeat surge of "Tomorrow will be fantastic, you wait and see", "I'll go down town with a smile on my face and everything will be perfect", "I'll do something that everyone will be proud of". Sometimes this swell of psyching myself up manifests itself into me putting a coat on and going for a walk. Many a time I have ended up walking at 1 or 2 in the morning, with upbeat songs playing on my iPod, not knowing where the hell I'm going to take myself. In a world of my own, imagination takes hold, and I am happy at last. Come morning, the feelings are gone. "The hell was I thinking?", "Pfff, what on Earth was I on...". The morning me and the evening me are two very different people. If only this were the other way around; during the day I would actually have the motivation to do what I wanted. I would have the imagination, improvisation and confidence that only me, at midnight, on my own, seem to have at the moment.

This leads me on to the Jefferson quote at the beginning. For me this begs a question. If it is a common truth, a conscious shared human belief that living life to its fullest brings the most happiness and well being, does this go against the whole notion of biting "the bait of pleasure"? One argument is that "living life at its fullest" conjures up that other phrase "you only live once". This insinuates that in order to live life at its fullest you try everything without hesitation, you are happy-go-lucky, a daredevil in some peoples eyes and reckless in others. Jefferson's quote if looked in this sense seems to encourage hesitance, caution and speculation. In many other situations these are positive and possibly lifesaving qualities to have, so this begs another question. How do you define living life to its fullest? For some it means to try everything you can, for others it means helping your fellow man. For some it means making a plan and sticking to it, for others it means taking everything step by step and see where life leads. Ultimately there is no absolute. Everyone comes to their own conclusion and the vast majority of people just take life's trials and tribulations on a day to day basis. Many a dream and wish I have had, none of which are at the forefront of my mind throughout the day. At night on the other hand...

Predictably, that paragraph was subject to more analysis paralysis, which has brought me closer to 2am. The magic cut-off point whereby my eyelids can no longer sustain the weight of gravity. My second semester at Stafford awaits as I travel back in 4 days time. Hopefully these next few weeks I can concentrate and actually start work ASAP, no doubt getting most of it done in the evenings. Ahh, I can already tell there's going to be a lot of time spent in the library towards hand-in... Such is life. Judging by my previous failures to keep promises of regular updates, I shall simply say: until next time...

flump_3@hotmail.com

TTFN,

Matt.

The Traveler

2010-08-03T02:05:00.000+01:00

Ahoy Thar! My word it has been a long time. Where on Earth do I begin after this shameful and lacklustre display of content? Well, first off I think I'll explain a little about the new format I'm hoping to use hence forth on this here page. As you may be aware by now, my posts aren't really... posts. More like a 2,500 word essay of sorts. Each one usually takes (took, more like) me 2 or 3 nights to type up. In order to get this whole thing active again I'm now going to half, at least, the length of each post. It just makes it easier for me to concentrate on putting down whatever I want, rather than feeling like I have to keep to the usual 7 or 8 paragraphs. Believe it or not but I actually started a new post at the end of May when I got back home from my first year of Uni. But, predictably, it never materialized. I managed a whole two paragraphs before giving up it seems. Here are my thoughts and the situation way back when:

Writing this under a haze of Rob Dougan's "Clubbed to Death" at two minutes past midnight, I feel upbeat. Invigorated. Alive. I have a whole 3 and a half months ahead of me to do absolutely anything at all. So, I thought, why not head off by restarting the ol' blog. Heck, it needs updating rather a lot. So many things and events have passed since the lacklustre promise of a comeback 4 months ago, and I feel it is my duty to at least get something done this Summer that I'll be thankful I did later on. Actually, all things going to plan, this Summer shouldn't be all that bad. For starters on June 10th -13th I should be off to Download at Donington Park, which will be my first ever music festival. I'm expecting great things, what with ACDC, Aerosmith, Rage Against The Machine and Motorhead attending. Rest assured, there will lots of drunken tomfoolery and photos. Some of which may well find their way onto this very blog. Or not. Depending on how kind I feel at the time, letting you all laugh at me. You swine. Beings this is my first festival you may think I'd be at a loss with all that camping malarkey. Aha! But that's where all my Duke of Edinburgh Award equipment comes in handy. Along with those two leftover 24-hour army ration packs in my cupboard for just such an occasion. Actually I won't lie, I had them kept away next to my air rifles and hatchet in the highly likely event of a Zombie Apocalypse occurring. Download will now probably spell the end for my survival plan by taking away my stockpile of food and teabags. Thus ultimately leaving me incapable of existing more than a week. Ah well. At least I'll get to hear Back In Black live; it's as good as any send-off.

Locked away in a cupboard in the corner of my living room lies my Dad's collection of old LP's. The above photo is in fact one of those albums (ACDC - Highway To Hell, for all those blind people out there... wait, what?). I'm unsure as to whether I should take it along or not. On one hand there may be a vague possibility of getting it signed. But on the other it's more likely going to get broken or stolen for all I know. If Shaun of the Dead's taught me anything, it's that vinyls are damn fragile. Other than the rations, I also have my two man tent, sleeping bag, roll mat, pillow, clothes for 4 days, wash kit, first aid kit (for the clumsy people in our 4-man group), survival bag, and anything else I can buy / scrounge / think of / fit in my rucksack / fit in the car before we set off on that fateful Thursday morning.

Quite why I put "fateful" I will never know. Or why the thought even crossed my mind to take an LP with me. Download is now 7 weeks behind me, and by God it was everything I'd ever hoped for and more. The fact I'm still wearing the wristband goes as a testament of how good the Summer's been so far. New lessons were learnt about camp-craft, surviving mosh-pits, how not to do a BBQ and why everyone seems to buy a hat. I've still got mine. However I was drunk whilst choosing it. It served me well. Along with the EuroGamer Expo in London, it looks like I have another annual event I'm fairly sure I'll go to again.

Other than Download, the usual weekly/more than weekly meet up with mates down town is always a laugh. Many a pint has been drank, and many a game of pool has been played. I've certainly become accustom to proper brewed ales now, that's for sure. In particular a seasonal ale called Summer Dream which comes from a very local brewery indeed. Strongbow is no longer on the list, neither is Newcastle Brown (until Uni no doubt). Guinness will never leave me though. Not on my watch. Aside from the outings, I've also given myself the task of learning some basic German by the end of the Summer. I honestly do not know what it is about German, but I find it more enjoyable to learn than French or my feeble attempts at learning Japanese a few months ago. French annoyed me with its poetic sound more than anything else (great excuse for not being terribly good at it, I know). Japanese is just... arrghh my brain. German seems to just stick straight away with me. The words just sound correct, the sentence structure makes sense and the grammar isn't that bad considering there's masculine and feminine words. Das ist gut.

Only three weeks now until my week holiday to Washington DC. The excitement is ramping up, I can feel it. Thankfully we've organised to stay in a hotel for a night before our flight the next day. No more rushing around, or not as is the case on the M25, and worrying about being late. Rest assured some new posts will be up before, possibly during if I take my laptop, and after the week away. Can't wait for a bit of city life. I've missed the experience of being in New York for too long now, so hopefully I can get out there for a day or two as well. But for now, as I sit here chilling out to a bit of Satriani (surprise, surprise), I'll concentrate on bringing this post to an end and getting some GOD DAMNED SLEEP! Here's wishing you all a prosperous August, a welcome back, Auf Wiedersehen, and until next time...

flump_3@hotmail.com

TTFN,

Matt.

Topics Galore - Part 5

2010-01-22T18:50:00.000Z

Well I think I'm getting back into the swing of things here at Uni. My sleeping pattern is already verging on nocturnal once more, and the work I fear shall mount up immensely over the coming fortnight. Not only am I starting to find it hard to get to sleep at "night", I'm also finding it difficult to get up in the "morning". Just yesterday, in fact, was my first 9am lecture of the semester and I found myself contemplating not going just because the bed was so warm. If it wasn't for poking myself in the eye with my glasses (completely by accident you understand - self harm ain't my thing) then I probably would have just dosed off, eventually waking up mid-afternoon. I do have a few other Uni related goings-on I would like to share with you all, but I shall keep those for the second part of Uni Days. For now I think its about bloody time I got back on topic, on top of a Galore of them in fact...

Topic 21 - Making a Miniseries
"Welllllity wellity wellity", as I believe Homer Simpson once exclaimed. Here I can actually give out some useful advice (I think). I can sympathise with any blogger or writer out there, we all know about Writer's Block. You get to a stage in your work where you simply can no longer write anything down. Your mind suddenly becomes void of all thought and starts to get distracted and wander off, usually to the kitchen or the telly. Your eyes transfixed on the flashing pixel-wide vertical line on the screen, your fingers running or tapping along the surface of the keyboard. In a desperate attempt to re-boot your brain into thinking straight, you end up typing complete gibberish which inevitably gets deleted the following day after realising how completely insane you must have been. One method to combat the block is to simply keep writing no matter what comes out; you will eventually find a good post-able story in there somewhere. Another method is, lo and behold, to create a miniseries. Topics Galore originally formulated because I was acutely aware that the block was slowly creeping up on me. If you randomly create a post about anything in general, in other words just make everything up as you go along or do a daily account of your life, it soon gets boring in your own mind. Writing topics that are suggested to you or from a set list of topics (like mine have been) is a great way to keep everything fresh and interesting. You end up writing about things you never thought you would do, and you constantly get surprised about how much you have to say about each topic, no matter how crazy or banal. At the end of the day, as long as it keeps you transfixed or interested enough that you want to do a next post, it works.
Topic 22 - If I Were an Advertiser Today
Hmm, this topic could mean many things. On one hand it could refer to the paper variety. In which case I suppose I would sit around in an empty chair all day, folded in half, slowly decomposing, constantly in fear of being taken away by a dog to a quiet corner of the house and getting ripped to shreds. On the other hand it could refer to being an editor/columnist for a weekly newspaper. Then again on the other hand (holy crap this creature has three hands!) it could refer to being in some sort of managerial role in a large company, whose main responsibilities include making various adverts 'n' shit. I'll pretend that hand number two was correct (on the grounds that any fictional creature with three hands is a freak of nature and can't be trusted, therefore that particular choice is void). So, in answer to the topic title, if I were an editor/columnist for any sort of newspaper, I would make it my duty to be more like Charlie Brooker. A former reviewer in the gaming magazine PCZONE, Brooker is a master at completely deconstructing a program/film/game/music video and speaking his mind. Ultimately he is unafraid of ripping the shit out of any celebrity no matter how respected they are, and is so in tune with modern society that he makes genuinely valid points to the eyes of teens about the way in which the world is heading. Downbeat, grumpy and often comparing real life situations to video games, I could listen to what he has to moan about for hours on end. I recently bought his new book The Hell of it All. Its basically a collection of all his Guardian newspaper articles from the past couple of years in one (think Clarkson's main series of books). To keep everything from being a simple re-hash, he's gone through and dug out the uncensored/un-edited versions of each article that never made it to press. The very first article inside is about his loathing of clubbing, so I instantly took a shine to the rest and definitely recommend it as a nice time filler. Oh and coincidentaly his second series of Newswipe just started on BBC4. The first episode's still up on iPlayer if you're quick!

Topic 23 - My Mother is on Facebook
Lolololol, she isn't so HA!
Topic 23 - YOUR Mother is on Facebook
Yeah, of course she is. Don't lie. But seriously, after a simple browse through Facebook friends profiles, its easy to see that a lot of parents and family members are now popping up on the networking site. I'm guessing that there's two main probable reasons for why parents are now online. Its either because they've become curious about all the hype of social networking that they want to give it a try, or they want to keep a closer eye on their child's Internet wheeling's and dealings. Both of which are valid excuses on their part, but if I one day find a friend request from either of my parents I will A) decline the request immediately, B) wonder how on earth they figured out how to use a keyboard , and C) go and berate them about the whole thing. I'd find the whole experience of having my parents on Facebook a complete embarrassment. Throughout my childhood, and I suspect some of you will have experienced the same, I was constantly concerned about privacy, keeping friendships and my own goings on completely to myself. So I simply cannot understand why people would give up that privacy and risk extremely awkward and embarrassing moments by adding them on Facebook. I understand a lot of people are more open to their parents and share a lot of experiences with them, maybe it's just me being too shy or secretive. I don't know what to think of it all, but I do know I'd rather keep my parents away from Facebook as much as possible. They'll just bugger everything up. Most likely in the process of signing up for Facebook they'll inadvertently launch a nuclear attack on Turkmenistan or something. So I suppose I've got nothing to worry about. Until they retaliate...
Topic 24 - Does a Big Brand Need You
Lets face it, the larger the company, the less they care about existing customers. For the most part at least. Number one in my list of annoying companies is Tiscali (recently bought out by TalkTalk, so now my home Internet is even worse... great). The Internet speed was unpredictable, the phone line sometimes didn't work, and to top it all off the customer service was unbelievably shite. The only reason why they became a big "brand" in the first place was because of the cheap prices, yet fast advertised Internet speeds. Customers, like I, grabbed the bait then suffered the consequences a year or so down the line. That's mainly what big companies do; offer something brilliant that attracts a new customer, treat them well for a few months, then effectively forget about them. They are constantly focused on gaining customers rather than offering good customer support for existing ones. Yes, businesses need more customers to make a profit. But surely having both good support and good deals isn't too much to ask? A company on my good list is Sky (based on my experience, however I understand some people have had rather bad times with them). Times when our Sky box at home has gone kaput, either from generally unable to find a good signal or just because the box itself went boom, Sky has always been able to send someone round within a couple days to fix everything. Not only that but they do some great deals on Sky TV packages and Internet these days. In fact I've heard nothing but praise for Sky's Internet, so they're a potential candidate for me changing from TalkTalk. So in answer to the topic title, does a big brand really need you? Well, it depends. There you go. Not too vague for you is it?

Topic 25 - Books I Want to Write
Quite relevant currently because a friend of mine is endeavoring to write his own book right now. Set in a fantasy world but incorporating various elements from his own life, along with various in-jokes that only friends will know about. I must say I am interested as to how it'll all turn out and wish him the best of luck. I myself have thought about writing a novel for a long time now. However, just before putting pen to paper or finger to key I always contemplate the enormity of what I'm about to undertake. I'm going to have to set aside a lot of my spare time for writing this, and at some point I'm going to lose all interest and struggle to think of new ideas in order to complete it. In terms of what to write, I've always been throwing around ideas for Crime/Thriller novels. Largely inspired by works from Jeffery Deaver, they always included one cliched "former agent, forced to come out of retirement" and always contained false motives. For example a series of heists using hired thugs which distract the authorities from the real, more sinister motive that takes place in a different part of the city. Actually in most of my story ideas, the setting was in large scale. Instead of everything concentrated in a city it was spread out throughout an entire country, giving the main villain(s) a nationwide feared identity. The time period has always been a problem. Do I set something in modern times, giving the reader a glimpse of places they might know in real life. Or do I look towards the past, noting down historical events that coincide with the main plot to make history seem planned instead of free determined. I love fantasy books, however I always get the impression that most of them are exactly the same and heavily cliched, so I tend to avoid including Wizards and/or Orcs in my ideas. One cool idea I recently thought of was to mix the Zombie Apocalypse scenario to some sort of Fantasy world. Or another, even better one, where an Inter-Dimensional war takes place between members of a fantasy realm and the present day forces on Earth. That would be fantastic. That reminds me of my alternate ending to the Harry Potter series (or rather, ending that I wished J.K.Rowling would have bloody put in). The worlds of Wizard and Muggle collide even more-so than they did in the books, so that the Muggle Prime Minister (who was epicly pointless to the overall story) actually makes a difference. There could have been epic scenes! Where the Army held off against a pack of Giants while Harry and Voldy dueled between them all. Or brilliant scenes where a load of Death Eaters get chased away or shot down off their brooms by the RAF. Epic. Much better than getting married, naming your son Albus and living happily ever after. Bring some of the real world in!
Anyway, enough babbling about orcs, wizards, heists and zombies (Oooh... a Wizard Zombie Heist...). That concludes Part 5 of Topics Galore. 25 down, 75 to go. Woo, quarter of the way there! The next post will be a general rambling about what's been going on at Uni, including my new assignments and progress I've made with them. Currently I've just managed to sort out all the cables and sound inputs for my Xbox 360, so hopefully it will work on my monitor and through my PC speakers. This will be the first time I've used the 360 in about 7 months (yeah I'm not really into consoles), so I expect to either get bored very quickly or start thinking "meh, mouse and keyboard FTW". Until next time...

flump_3@hotmail.com

TTFN,
Matt.

Uni Days - Part 1

2010-01-15T16:45:00.003Z

Holy bejesus, that really was a long time ago since my last post. Such a lot has gone on and such a lot has changed, so it may take me a while plus a fair bit of head-scratching to type everything down. First thing's first: I am alive! I haven't been consumed by some form of rabies or become part of the Zombie Apocalypse (yet). So apologies for yet another long delay and welcome to my new glorious blog-tastic essay, a blessay if you will (yes I stole the term from Stephen Fry, but hey, you can't blame me for admiring his work). There's only been one reason for why I haven't been very active, and that reason is being busy. Unless you've been living in a hole for the last 4 months, you would have probably noticed I'm now a Uni student. One semester down (which went by faster than I thought was possible), but before I elaborate on that, a word about the new mini-series you see before you: Uni Days. Basically anything hence forward I put here will (probably) be written from, and be about, anything that's happening/happened around Stafford Uni in general. Think of it as an extended status update on Facebook. Topics Galore will continue as before, when I get round to it. I may as well start by wishing everyone an extremely late Happy New Year. I do hope you all haven't given up on your resolutions already, unlike me who failed immediately since I completely forgot to make one / can't be bothered to start now. Actually could that work as one? Bother to do stuff more? Yeah why not. I'll only forget it come next week so there's not much point. Down to business... Not being one for excessive partying, New Years was a strange occasion for me given that I was out for 4 nights in a row from the 30th to the 2nd. Some of the "cool kids" at this point will no doubt sarcastically say "Woah, slow down there, 4 days in a row" but to be honest I couldn't care less what they say. Reminds me of a story from a friend of mine housed up at the UEA. After meeting up with old acquaintances, one of the more "popular" members of the group remarked at my friend's pint; "Haven't moved up to shots yet then?". "Oh yeah, because nothings cooler than drinking something that someone else has told you to drink" my friend replied, and a reply that I would of said too if it weren't for my slow reactions and inability to hold a conversation for more than 5 seconds. As I've said before, I'm far too much of a pub than a club person. Fair enough on New Years Eve I was in a club, but everyone else was heading that way and I couldn't really avoid it, not on New Years. Any other time of the year and I would of made an effort to avoid such a place; I simply cannot see the appeal of anywhere that demands an entrance fee, then charge above average prices for a pint. Oh and don't get me started on dancing. During the time I was there I pretty much had no choice but to get on the dance floor; it was either that or be separated from the rest of the group. I understand the appeal, I understand that drink + loud music = a good time, but whilst I'm sober and whilst I'm sane you will never, ever, see me even near a dance floor. That small shiny floor and I do not mix, and never shall.

Other than failing to avoid clubbing over the holidays, it gave me the chance to reconnect with everyone who went off to Uni and those that stayed behind whilst I left them all for the 13 weeks of my first Semester at Stafford. I was rather amused to see the difference between the people who did and did not go to Uni. Those that did are noticeably thinner and taller, whilst those that did not remain completely unchanged from when I left 3 months earlier. Many amusing stories and memories were recounted, and after a while it soon became clear that some people hadn't changed at all. Still as crazy and full of surprises as usual. There were those that surprised me though, those that I couldn't help but think had changed or moved on from how I remembered them. People had found partners, jobs, were making plans for moving or even for marriage. There were those who seemed relieved they were back home for the holidays, and those who couldn't wait to get back out there. There were those who I honestly felt didn't want to know me anymore, who would just acknowledge me being there but not come over for a chat. There were some who had changed so much they were mingling with people who I never would of imagined they would be friends with. Above all else, everyone seems to have become more confident, more open, more mature and more organised. All of the reunions over the holidays have at very least told me who I can trust, who I can rely on and who I will never forget. On the flip side they have shown who I will eventually lose all connection with, and shown the true feeling of others towards me, both bad and good. Then again that's always been the problem I have; determining the feelings that others have about me, so I may be wrong about it all. I jump to conclusions, always end up hanging my thoughts about people from one little gesture, one expression, a wry comment or first impressions. The only medium I feel I can confidently talk from now is via the keyboard and text. Middle and High School are to be blamed for that, thank you very bloody much.
I found myself mulling over my past quite a bit after meeting up with old friends. The things I've done wrong, things I regret; they always prey on my mind when it comes to studying for the future. Probably the most poignant scene, one which I keep dwelling on, occurred over the holidays at a meeting at a local pub. Sitting around the table was a future Barrister, a bunch of Physicists, a Chemist and then me. Studying Computer Games Design. To say I felt completely under-classed and out of place would be an understatement. I felt as though the last decade and a half of education was completely wasted, I felt and still feel I have something more to contribute to this world. Perhaps in writing, perhaps in drawing, I feel I need to express myself more but at the same time I feel it's all way too late. Ahh, it's probably just me getting all lost and confused again; more often than not I find myself staring at the wall or screen, completely at a loss for words, just thinking. Half the time I feel like I'm waiting for something big to happen, something that I'm involved in. It sounds silly, but I'm forever gaining motivation from imagining myself as someone who is loved or respected by everyone. It just pushes me forward gradually, motivates me towards finishing a project like a drawing or even this post. There isn't a better feeling in the world than getting positive feedback from something you've done. All that work beforehand suddenly becomes worthwhile and meaningful. On the other hand one of the worst feelings is making something you think is brilliant, but people simply ignore it and don't give feedback. I just have to keep creating, it's the only thing I feel I'm doing well at the moment.

Speaking of creating, I think here's a good time to briefly go over my first Semester at Uni. Overall I think I definitely made the right decision since it's pretty quiet, which suits me perfectly. I'm in a flat of 5, sharing two bathrooms and a kitchen and am on the top floor, so the view from my window is particularly good. The flatmates are great, the kitchen is fictitiously bathed in epic-ness and the cheese is plentiful. Every Monday we have a cleaner who comes in to clean the bathrooms and kitchen (who I feel very sorry for given the mess they often end up in) and we have a room inspection every month. Overall in the way of accommodation everything is A-O.K. Well, apart from the bed perhaps. It squeaks like mad and has about the same springiness as a block of wood. Oh and our hoover has about as much sucking power as YOUR MUM (huhuhu). But yeah, in all seriousness you would be better off laying a new carpet than attempting to clean it. Other than that everything is better than expected. Our halls of residence is across the road from the lecture theaters, computer labs and the Student Union bar etc., so everything I really need is withing a 5 minute walk. The nearest ASDA is about 20 minutes away on foot and the town centre a little further including the train station. Stafford itself is roughly the same size as my home town so it felt pretty homely from the start really. The nightlife isn't particularly epic (or so I'm told), so it's best to go to Stoke-on-Trent which is a 20-odd minute train ride to the North. Personally I prefer just going to the Union bar because it's close. I went on an epic saving spree in my first Semester, never really spending much on getting drunk at all. The two main parties of last year were Halloween and Christmas, both held at the Union, but other than that I decided to keep as much money as I could. In fact I don't think I used a single cashpoint during the entire 3 months... oh well, more to spend later I guess.
Overall I had 4 assignments (no exams, huzzah) to do over the semester, one for each module I'm doing (Computer Games Design, Motion Capture, Introduction to 3D Modelling and Games Engines & Physics). The first of these was a core piece of individual work where we had to reverse engineer any game we choose and write up a Design Document. I decided to do my Design Document on Half Life 2: Episode 2, chiefly because it's a short game and I've played it so many times I shouldn't have much trouble getting my words down. However I didn't count on the sheer amount of back story and information about the Half Life franchise I would need to put down in order to get the higher marks. In short, a Design Document is a long piece of text which includes every single aspect from the game, from weaponry to game mechanics and storyline. Everything in Episode 2 had to be put down. What made matters worse for me when I came to write it, there was no word limit. As you probably know already from reading my blog, I do tend to ramble on. So my end Document ended up at a hefty 72 pages and around 26000 words. Ow my hands. The second assignment for Motion Capture was a group exercise. We had to get into teams of 6, assign roles, create a group name and then choose a character from a list. Our chosen character would determine the animations we would have to record in the Motion Capture studio. So for example the unlucky group who ended up with a Ballet Dancer had to record a load of delicate pirouettes and general dancing-ness while the group who got a Cave Troll had to act heavy, slow, each move being big and purposeful. Due to a bit of a mistake by the lecturers, everyone had to change groups after the first couple weeks. In my first group our character was Conan the Barbarian and my role was the Video Technician (in charge of recording all the animations in the studio), however in my second group the character was Chuck Norris and I ended up being the Director (in charge of the whole group). Now, I'm fine with being part of a team, but for the life of me I cannot organise meetings, events or be in charge of a rabble of people. So in all honesty I found this task a bit scary. Eventually we managed to finish smoothing out all our animations and made a semi-decent video ready for our presentation in front of the lecturers. I'd say we managed to limp over the finish line rather than cross it proudly.

My third assignment for 3D Modelling started off rather promising, and slowly degenerated into the most loathed module in every student's eyes. Our task was to create a scene in the theme of the yet unreleased game "Duke Nukem Forever" in Autodesk's arse of a program 3DS Max 2010. Creating a 3D model and rendering it to look pretty is fine. Its just when you get to the painfully awful job of texturing everything goes horribly wrong. Unwrapping/UV mapping and I will forever remain mortal enemies. I am very worried about this assignment due to the amount of time I left myself to do it in. It wasn't exactly great, so all I can do is hope. The 4th assignment, and by far my favorite, was for Games Engines & Physics. Here lies the reason for why I wanted to do Games Design in the first place; level design. For starters I had to learn a whole new engine and set of editing tools since the game we had to make a Capture The Flag map for was Unreal Tournament 3. I already owned this game before I came to uni and was familiar with all the existing art style and levels to begin with. This made it easier to get to grips with all the terms inside the level editor, so I got straight to work on my map from the start of the semester. In conjunction with making our level we had to do a Development Diary and record a video walk-through once our level was finished. I left these to the last minute, rather foolishly, but am still pleased with the results. The video only had to be a short 2 minute job that simply showed off different areas of the map, but since my Dev Diary wasn't as large as I'd hoped, I added some commentary and accidentally recorded 17 minutes worth. Oops. Overall I have good hopes that in this assignment at least I will get a pretty good mark. Then again I've learnt to never say a good mark is certain, because half the time essays come back and the mark surprises you. Much like the Internet:
God I love XKCD. Anyway, the holidays are over, the snow's fallen and beginning to melt, and I'm back at Stafford for my second semester. I still don't know what new assignments await me since our lectures don't start until Monday (I think... my timetable doesn't exist yet). The main change from last year is the lack of my laptop and the addition of my desktop, in all its general general-ness. Currently I'm finishing off a bowl of cereal, despite it being almost 5pm, and listening to a bit of Black Sabbath. With bugger all else to do for the time being, I suspect many nights shall be spent like this over the coming 12 weeks. For now I shall say thanks for reading, and until next time...

flump_3@hotmail.com

TTFN,
Matt.

Topics Galore - Part 4

2009-09-08T00:20:00.001+01:00

Wow. I seem to be slipping in my blog writing duties. Already over a week since my last post, and this time I really don't have an excuse. Other than going clothes shopping and the occasional drive out, I haven't left the grounds of the house. Yet I still seem to have managed to catch a cold/something weird... how very strange. I'll blame the dog; after all, her nickname can be mistaken for someone else's diary: "duddy blog". Get it? Duddy Blog... Bloody Dog... ahhh forget it. You know that feeling of lightheaded-ness, and the sense of not knowing what on earth is going on? Sort of like when you stand up out of bed in the morning too fast, or what I like to imagine being high must feel like... That feeling for me currently is getting towards being constant. A surefire sign of my body saying, "You're completely fucked, get some Lemsip and go to bed". Alas, I shall endure to write the next (difficult) installment of Topics Galore, without interruption and at haste! Without further adue.

Topic 16 - Empower Your Best Customers

So very often you hear of insurance companies and Internet Service Providers more intent on getting as many people to use their services, rather than looking after the ones they already have. Traditionally it was insurers and the main service providers, eg. Gritish Bass (love that advert by Powergen) and Essex Water and the likes. They reel you in with a tasty offer, then once that period is over they force up the prices and leave you for dead. It still goes on with insurers. For example the recently renamed Norwich Union, who insured my car for its first year. When it came to renewal I was slightly taken aback at how little the price had gone down. Only after I rang them up did they offer to reduce the cost. In the end a simple online search found that Admiral was half the original price that Norwich Union was intending to force upon me, and as such I am now switched. It seems companies never change. They can never be absolutely honest with their offers. They sneak in extra charges which, if left alone and unnoticed, can mount up, and until the customer actually intervenes they will continue to rise. Curse their sneakiness. The best companies who look after their customers I find are phone companies (no, not the likes of BT and ISP bundled phone packages) for example Vodafone and O2. All those free texts and abroad minutes they give to existing customers make their service interesting. The other main type of company that really looks after their customers are (and I'm sorry to keep mentioning them) the gaming sort. Bethesda and THQ for giving fast and effective patches for their community to enjoy, and of course Valve. A company that actively looks at their forums and the response of their customers in order to further improve their games. Other companies can really take a leaf out of the gaming industry on how to run a business. Not only have those who do things right gained respect from others in their league, they have also gained immeasurable support from their customers. The perfect, mutual, positive existence. It brings a tear to the eye. Actually I take that back... next!

Topic 17 - After The Event - Carrying The Conversation Forward

Schemes. Ideas. Everyone has heard of an idea or scheme that was talked about for a while, but hasn't come to fruition. It happens all the time, not only in the Government but also with our own plans. Some of us may even have been involved in the process of forming an idea. I for one went to a meeting back in Year 12 regarding the future of my former High School. Plans were drawn up for a larger, new school that required the current one to be demolished. However the core idea of this meeting (which included lower and higher year students, teachers, plus many parents and 6th Formers) was to discuss the running of the current school. My job as a 6th Former was to convey my experiences of being a student at the school during my past 3 years. I and others conveyed; parents, teachers, lower years then collaborated and made some outlines as to what could be done to improve many aspects of the current system. Teaching methods, the litter problem, improving various common rooms throughout the school, culling chavs - things like that. That last point being suggested by me of course. On a side note, in a poll created by the British newspaper The Daily Telegraph, chavs were voted the most annoying thing in Britain (link). More than stepping in dog crap and slow Internet connections. Victory to the common man! God save the Queen! etc. etc. Anyway, the point of that little story was that the school's headmaster, who organised the meeting, promised everyone they would be kept in touch and further meetings will be made in the near future. I have now since left 6th Form and since that first meeting, never heard anything more about it. No word was mentioned, no changes were made, not even the introduction of more bins. Instead all the school's budget seems to have been spent on pointless widescreen TV's for the Atrium and Canteen area (which no one can see because there's too much glare). I'm also very disappointed that there hasn't been an introduction of martial law to sort out that lawless bunch of ruffians loitering constantly in the middle of corridors on purpose to obstruct people's movement. The damned swine.

Topic 18 - Just Jump Into Podcasting - Here's How

Ahhh podcasts. Possibly the only thing nowadays that separates an iPod from all the other cheap knock-offs. Apple, in all their cunning, had invented a whole new brand of media. One which anyone can do for a small amount of money, and one in which everybody has the potential to make money out of. As I have touched on before in my early posts, podcasting was another scheme/idea (yeah, hows about that for interweaving topics) that I wanted to start, but it never really took off. One thing I can definitely tell you is that if you want to delve into the world of podcasts, or even blogging, you have to be committed. There is no point of starting something, hoping that it will be interesting and hoping that lots of people will listen/read, only to bail out because you weren't expecting it to take up a lot of your time. It will take up a large chunk of your time. You have to stay organised, especially if you start a podcast because most successful podcasts have more than one person involved, including the odd guest. That's not to say all podcasts with just one person are dull and boring. Stephen Fry's Podgrams are by no means dull and boring and are certainly successful. Although he hasn't released a new one in around 4 months I think. Plus this is Stephen Fry we are talking about, and anything he does on his own tends to be worth a look into (oh dear, that sounded wrong). Also, try not to ramble on too much (something I fear I do too much, but so far no complaints; if it ain't broke, don't fix it!). Keep the topics flowing, keep the delivery natural, don't try to act like someone you aren't. People can tell, and people steer well clear from those that do. Do not be afraid to edit! When it comes to podcasts you may record an hour plus in audio. Half of that or more will be you and your partner going "ermmm... so yeah... *long pause*". Don't worry, this is how all great things start. Once the first episode is out there, people will comment and suggest, so listen, adapt, adopt and improve. That phrase served the Romans well, so take a leaf out of their book. It's a strange world out there in the Internets, and for times like this you should always turn to Barney Calhoun; "Good luck out there buddy, you're gonna need it".

Topic 19 - My Community And How You Can Engage It

Christ... how the hell do I write something up for this? Hmm... well you out there are the community. I know there's only 2 people following me actually on Blogger, but I know more people look thanks to a counter thing in the settings. It is always nice to get comments and suggestions about how to improve. Some of which have came from Facebook from friends, which I thank very much. Mainly I have to say most thanks and praise has come from friends who I actually meet in person. Hmm... what I could do I suppose is create a Facebook fan page open to the public. That way I can keep an eye on suggestions and it enables everyone to talk openly, without having to join up to blogger just to comment. However I still have my email/MSN address handy if anyone feels like chatting (located at the bottom of most of my posts). Can't think of anything else to add... so thanks for coming back to read what I have to ramble on about :)

Topic 20 - Twitter Jaiku Pownce Facebook - And Then What

Reminder - I don't choose/name the topics, I simply take them from a list of 100 I found on the Internet! Now then, some explaining to do. Most people have never heard of Jaiku. At first I thought it was a person whose Internet name was Jaiku, however after a simple Google search, it seems it is effectively a direct copy of Twitter. Released at a similar time, both Jaiku and Twitter now have more subscribers between them than Facebook (hence the "Pownce" bit I assume), even though they are simply just a status update with a character limit and only really work if you have an Internet capable mobile. I have Twitter, and look at it daily. But don't update it regularly enough. My last update currently was made 8 days ago, whereas my Facebook status changes several times a day. If a day arrives when I shall be in possession of a new Blackberry or similar, I assume my Twitter posts will grow in number dramatically. Until then, I'll just use it to see what friends are up to. Because I'm a nosey bastard. Well, first it was Bebo, then it was MySpace, then it was Facebook, then came Twitter. Both Twitter and Facebook are on a level playing field, and to be perfectly honest, I think they will stay our most used networking sites for many years to come. I haven't heard of any new sites lately, and it's hard to imagine anything else that could be added to a new site to draw us away from where we are now. But then this is the Internet I'm talking about. New innovative ideas will come up, and a new King of the Networking sites will arise. It's almost inevitable.

That concludes Part 4 of Topics Galore! 20 down, 80 to go! Dear god this is going to take a while. Anyway, it's now just gone midnight and I'm getting extremely tired. Squinting at the screen is never pleasant, especially with glasses as it means they constantly slide down your nose. What's coming up on my side... been invited out to the pub later on this evening. May or may not go, depending on how alive I feel. Oh yes and a hair cut at some point, dammit. I loathe being forced to go. Anyway, before I find myself mashing my face against the keyboard in order to stay awake, I shall now bugger off. Until next time...

flump_3@hotmail.com

TTFN,

Matt.

The End Is Nigh

2009-08-27T18:50:00.003+01:00

Yes, that's right folks, to quote that brilliant piece of graffiti near the start of 28 Days Later, "the end is very fucking nigh indeed". Apologies for the long gap in between my last post, and apologies to those who were expecting the next installment of Topics Galore. I felt this past week and a bit needs to have its own dedicated post. I certainly feel slightly exhausted and a bit lost for words from the latest news in all honesty. I don't quite know how to convey it, so I guess I'll just get on with it.

I've got in to Staffordshire University for a Computer Games Design course. On 220 UCAS points. When they needed 260. I got two D's and a C. One of which was General Studies, which I was told countless times they did not accept. I mean... seriously... how on earth did I get in? Thousands of people a year apply for Games Design at both Stafford and Middlesbrough, yet I somehow got accepted into my first choice, when my insurance choice (who would accept General Studies and had a lower point requirement) refused. This has put my mind, not into a mood of sheer joy, but into a state of questioning. Have I really earned this place? I don't feel like I have. Have I denied a smarter person a place they surely deserve? I think I have. Did I get in because scores of people decided against Stafford and took a course at different University? Part of me thinks so. If they did, what made them choose differently? Am I now walking into a course that I will regret choosing later on? I certainly hope not, but I am starting to question how much of it I will enjoy. Ahhh it's probably just me getting all worried about nothing again. In my mind I was certain I had no chance of getting in, so much so that I didn't bother looking at UCAS Track since I applied or thought a single iota about buying things in preparation of leaving home. Now I find myself thrust straight into an uncoordinated mess; a dash, a rabble, a nervous, worried and almost survivalist buying and stashing spree in order to get everything ready so I can leave on September 20th. To make matters a whole lot more frantic, I've now received a couple of hefty envelopes containing accommodation offers and step-by-step "Welcome to Uni" guides. There's so much to do, many choices to be made. However I'm determined to get everything right (insert cliched action hero "... whatever the cost" quote here).

All I can say is thank Christ I bought a good laptop. Given some of the course's requirements, it looks like I don't have to spend a penny more on hardware. There are a couple things I lack at the moment however. I somehow need to get hold of a Wacom Art Tablet (you know, one of those art computer pen tablet thingy-ma-jigs; similar technology to what those interactive whiteboards have). The only place I can think of finding a Wacom one is online, unless I feel cheap, then I'll head for Argos. I also need to get hold of a copy of 3DS Max 2010 (this is a very large and extremely complex modelling and animation graphics studio; the sort of program that special effects and CGI for films are created on). I pray that the University will sell it cheap, if not I'm in deep excrement. Other things I have to do are sort out some sort of finance. All the various grants and loans just go straight over my head. I'm really not a finance man, despite taking Business Studies (all be it for GCSE), so I'll need some help sorting out all that no doubt. Things keep cropping up in my mind about what I should take with me. Like for instance I just remembered I have an external hard drive. I must take that. Oh god I've got to take some DVDs as well. Can't live without the likes of Band Of Brothers or Snatch for too long...

Now, in the way of books I am slightly stuck. Do I want to look like a complete geek and take my entire collection of PCZONE mags along? Seeing as I will be with fellow Games Design students, I might as well. Harry Potter is a big no-no whatever the situation. If I'm going along with the geeky look I may just go the whole hog and take Stephen Fry's autobiography "Moab Is My Washpot", a few good crime thrillers such as Jeffery Deaver's "Devils Teardrop", a couple of gritty true war books such as Michael Sallah and Mitch Weiss's "Tiger Force", and of course the inevitable game concept art and walkthroughs such as Half Life 2's Prima Guide. To complete the look I'll take with me my concept art posters for HL2:Ep2 and STALKER: Clear Sky plus the signed HL2 poster, so kindly given to me by Gabe himself. Sorry to go on about that, it's just oh so precious to me.

Anyway. Moving away from my rather unexpected acceptance into University. What else has been going on in the world of me? Last time I left you I mentioned about a little BBQ round a friend's house. I'm glad to report that the directions I had, although slightly dodgy, took me on the right path and I managed to find the correct house (without having to stand like a loon I might add). It all went very well, and I managed to take a hundred or so pictures which, for those who have my Facebook, are now up. Having a distinct lack of alcohol (such as WKD and Strongbow) at my house during that particular week, I decided to take a rather unusual step and took some Champagne. We have a surplus of bottles. Leftovers from past parties and Christmases way back, and our wine rack is on the verge of overflowing with the bubbly stuff. Only one space is "free", and that is currently occupied by what I like to call our "last defense when the bombs begin to fall". A fire extinguisher. Slightly nonalcoholic, but it fills the hole. During the occasion I found a good use for my fingerless gloves (widely dubbed simply as "the hobo gloves"). It is rather amusing seeing a Champagne bottle in a Marks & Spencer's bag being clutched in the hands of someone donning the hobo gloves. Gives the wearer a look of a slightly upmarket, friendly hobo. A regular scruffy hobo, but one that emits the impression that they aren't interested in asking for change. I think we overstayed our visit for the BBQ a fair bit. People started leaving around half 10 and 11. A select few of us including me however ended up staying until 1 in the morning. A threat to the daughter of the residence we were staying at from her parents of "locking her out" unless we all buggered off was the call to get on our way. Another night walk in the space of a week. No complaints here.

Ah yes and then there was the A-Level celebratory pub crawl. What was originally going to be a meeting down town at 8pm followed by multiple pints, soon turned into a 3pm meeting down at the local cinema to watch Tarantino's new movie, "Inglourious Basterds". I didn't have high hopes. Brad Pitt... in a war movie... guh?!? However I must admit when I finally emerged from the cinema a mere 3 hours later (damn adverts), I actually quite liked it. Unlike some of his other movies, I could actually follow the plot rather easily. Yes it's not historically accurate, and yes Brad Pitt has an annoying accent, and yes Mike Myers looked and sounded like Dr.Evil, and yes the subtitles showed some French and German words in French and German instead of English (eg. Merci, Danke and Wunderbar). But I couldn't fault the acting capability of both Brad Pitt, and the best performance in the movie came from Austrian actor Christoph Waltz who plays a high ranking German Officer called Landa. Oh and of course the narrator being the coolest guy in the universe, Samuel L. Jackson. Some left the cinema with mixed feelings but I thought it was very Tarantino. Which is never a bad thing. A trip to KFC and then to a friend's house resulted in us being 20 minutes late meeting up with others (as usual). Normally I would be drinking along with everyone else, but that night for some reason I couldn't stomach anything. I had 3/4 of a pint then followed everyone else. Cutting a long story short, I was left with 3 highly drunk people to usher along the sea wall back towards their homes. Around half 3 in the morning everyone was back where they should be. By 4am I slept like a log until 4pm the following day. This experience has left me never wanting to go out that late again, or at least for tomorrow when people want to do it all over again. It's a dodgy world out there, and being heckled from a few drunken rabbles at 2 in the morning whilst I was completely sober has me questioning why I waste money only for it to end up in the sewers. Fresher's week at Uni is certainly not going to be a massive booze-up for me. I need that money damn it.

Literally just as I'm typing this up my new passport has arrived. Apparently they don't send new ones through the post anymore, so a person from the company has to drop it off personally. Plus it's a "new design" whereby it has a large computer chip in it. So far as I can make out, this allows you to skip long queues in airports because you can just scan it in a machine and move along. Makes me want to go on holiday just to try it out. Earlier today I went to the dreaded dentists and found out for the first term of Uni, at least, I will have to keep on my braces. Fan-bloody-tastic. Grr. However I should be getting a funky new pair of glasses. Hell yeah. My current pair have been broken three times. Once via a football to the face courtesy of an absolute tit; once via randomly picking them up one morning and finding one of the arms snapped; and once because of a paint balling incident (damn masks never bloody fit properly). They've been through a lot of shit (not literally) and have run their course well. I'm not really into looking fashionable at all, but even I know they aren't exactly "in" at the moment. I mean jeez, just look at my phone. Only 5 years old but completely out of date and looks comparatively massive next to an iPhone. Flip phones have had their day already it seems. It's all touch screen and uber-quality camera from now on. Oh well.

That concludes my little update for you all. Currently I'm finishing off a bottle of Lucozade and listening to some Kaiser Chiefs. Neither of which I've done in the past year I think. Congratulations and commiserations to those who have now received their exam results. Until next time...

flump_3@hotmail.com

TTFN,

Matt.

Pills Here!

2009-08-15T21:20:00.002+01:00

It's happened again I'm afraid. All this hype about the new Harry Potter movie has forced me to venture into the loft and extract the seven books. Since I finished my last post I have read both the Half-Blood Prince and the Deathly Hallows. This has been my third read through both books, and it's always refreshing and surprising to notice little details you may have missed the first time through. It does feel a bit awkward reading a book, knowing it will be made into a movie in the future. Once you see the characters on screen it always seems completely different to how you imagine them to look like. The same goes for their surroundings. It just never lives up to expectations. For me anyway. Anyway, I now find myself 5 days (at the time of writing) away from getting my A-Level results. Describing my feelings as nervous would be a massive understatement. Abso-tively defecating myself would be more appropriate.

It is a nice thing to know that Universities like to keep in touch with their potential future students. I don't mind at all if they send me newsletters or Student Union booklets and leaflets so I feel welcomed and wanted. However it does leave me a bit guilty and perhaps a tad ashamed that all their efforts will go to waste, because I just know I stand no chance of getting in this year. I've been told that Uni's will have by now received all the results from people applying via UCAS, which to me just makes the pain that little bit harder to endure. The thought of other people looking at my scores doesn't bear thinking about. When the day arrives, and Oh how I wish it wouldn't at all, I shall share my no doubt pitiful grades to you all. If anything it will spur me on to do better the following year. Depending on if I figure out what I'm going to do in time of course...

Most recently I decided to accompany a couple of friends on a supposed midnight walk. I guess what lured me into doing this was the sheer randomness of it all. In my mind it sounded like a brilliant adventure; just set off in the middle of the night with no guidance or end goal and see where you end up. It didn't quite end up like that; just a short walk to the local Tesco to buy random food and cheap drink, then walked the long way back home, which then turned into a hastily arranged sleepover. Lot's of fun nonetheless. But the prospect of just simply going out for a walk on our own for a while keeps cropping up in my mind. Not only does it get me away from the clutches of the computer, but it also brings about some free time to think to myself. Everyone has times where they just feel they want to go away for a while on their own, just to clear their mind for a while. For me, driving is something I love, and often just go out for long drives just because I can. Bugger the cost of petrol, I've got nothing better to do, so may as well do as I please. Not long ago I drove strait to Stafford (just past Birmingham and just south of Stoke-on-Trent), purely because Staffordshire Uni is near there. I just felt that if I'm not going to be able to go there next year the least I could do is look around at what I'd miss out on. I hate to say it, but as I pulled out of that last lay-by and looked back on the sprawling campus, something left me, a hope maybe, or a sudden realisation came to fruition that I wouldn't see the same sight again. Perhaps I'm wrong, only time will tell.

Going back to the topic of walking, my feet have been playing me up again. Whilst in years 9, 10 and 12 I took part in the Duke of Edinburgh's Award. Bronze being in Year 9 was an absolute blast, Silver being in Year 10 was with a different group and more challenging (probably my limit). Gold in Year 12 was, I must confess, an absolute nightmare. I realised something was wrong with me by the end of the Silver expedition we had in Wales, for I started to lag behind immensely, which was the complete opposite of what happened in Bronze. Pains in the knees and eventually my feet were just completely destroyed (if anyone continued watching after Top Gear on a Sunday night and watched Ben Fogle and Co. on their race to the South Pole, they would know what destroyed feet looked like). Anyway, most recently my right big toe became infected (no, not Left 4 Dead/28 Days Later style), and am now on a short stint of prescribed antibiotics. Joy. Just what I need. Drowsiness, the inability to eat for 3 hours beforehand and an hour after, AND I'm now almost certainly going to turn into Louis.

Hmm, it seems I have a glass of Apple Juice waiting to be drunk. So I shall bid thee fair well. Next in line for me is a BBQ on Tuesday. In order to get there I have some rather dodgy directions, and encase I get lost my orders are to "stand like a loon". Mission accomplished already I fear. As I say, this coming Thursday is D-Day for all A-Level students in the UK. Don't bother wishing me luck, it'll just be wasted. Instead I wish you all the very best. Until next time...

flump_3@hotmail.com

TTFN,

Matt.

Topics Galore - Part 3

2009-08-09T13:00:00.001+01:00

It's that time again. By now you've hopefully realised I shall be posting a "normal" sort of blog post in between the varying Parts of Topics Galore, just so I can preserve a bit of sanity. All this Social Media and Flickr business means browsing the Internet and grabbing various links. Alas, I delve into that scenario once more. A quick update to you all for starters; it seems all this blogging business has given other friends of mine inspiration to start their own spot. Most notably a future Physicist named Jim (recently made his second post). One just hopes he doesn't cause a Resonance Cascade and doom the whole of humanity to a future Combine invasion. Or doesn't become a mute and start bunny-hopping around in an orange and black metallic suit. I refer to the popular Gordon Freeman of course... but wait, I said there would be less gaming references in the coming posts! I must end it at that. To business!

Topic 11 - My Children Will Do It Differently

Quite what "it" refers to, I am not sure. Sounds slightly worrying to say the least... Well first of all in order to "get" children one assumes you must be engaged in a relationship with the opposite sex (if that is how you modern kids do it these days; I am not one with the times). First I've actually got to find a partner, which A) I'm not in a hurry to do and B) seems rather impossible. Also, call me what you will, but I'm really not the sort of person who would want a baby anyway, at least not until I'm financially stable. Primarily because you hear of all these young parents who end up going on the dole, and the fact that everything is going to get more expensive in the coming years. I would much rather save my money and either be single so I can live life a little my own way, or find a partner and settle down once I know what I'm going to be doing for the rest of my life. The last thing I want to do is have a partner and then bugger off to America or Japan in search of my dream career. All that's a long way off and is perhaps wishful thinking, but hey, aim high is what they said to do. Personally I think the next generation to come along will have rough and turbulent lives. In the last 100 years, War has been more bloody and evil than any other time in history. Humans seem to have invented more ways to kill each other in the last 50 years than any previous time, and we have a rising threat of terrorism and hatred in our own back yard. A shocking survey that was released last week showed that 1 in 6 children who do not go into higher education have died, and will continue to die, via drink or drug related causes by the age of 40. This is almost certainly due to the massively hyped up America-style gang culture in large cities and the rise in gun crime across the country. I fear for the future of "Great" Britain, and the media certainly has the persuasive capability to make me emigrate some place else. I would love to say that my children will avoid all the bad in the world, but I fear none of us can be certain anymore.

Topic 12 - How Schools Could Use Social Media

Following on from Part 1 where I discussed how Lowestoft could benefit and be different from the rest of the country from the use of Social Media, I also believe our schools can benefit. Arguably, Universities already have a Social Media system (whereby students have a large influence into what facilities or clubs are set up or destroyed). I think this is because the staff believe that the students will be more mature to take on larger responsibilities, and they are prepared to give students a larger influence in how the University operates to gain experience. I would argue that this freedom could also be given to pupils in Colleges and 6th Form Centres. Obviously compared to a University the student will most likely have a place to live other than on campus, plus they will not be a student as long as a University student is. But at most a student will be the same age for half the first year of Uni as they were at the end of 6th Form, so surely they can have the same privileges. I don't particularly know how the entire school system is run, it all seems hugely paperwork orientated and a bit old fashioned. So you never know, it could be something for Government to look in to.

Topic 13 - The Best Parts Of Marketing

For this all I can think of is Bill Bailey's little sketch about Marketing. In it he mocks how Christmas has been re-labelled as the "Primary Gifting Period" probably because of the extremely annoying political correctness we have in the UK. In fact I've just found the clip on YouTube. I suppose that's the only good thing about marketing; it serves as comedy. Everything else is pure advertising and "getting the word out" about a product or service. It's a multi-million pound business which is essential to a company's success. So why do most insist of giving us insanely poor commercials (here's looking at you Insurance and Soliciting businesses) and also feel the need to spam our in/letter-boxes with useless and time-consuming wastes of effort and paper. If you're going to try, at least make it interesting, amusing and keep it to the point. What the hell's a gorilla got to do with milk chocolate? Grr...

Topic 14 - Presentation Skills For A New Conversation

Erm... be yourself and do what you always do...? I must change that.

Topic 14 - Coming Up With A New Conversation

Yes, much better. I suppose this is a confidence issue mainly to do with myself. Although I hope it isn't just me who has experienced having a long chat with someone then running out of things to say and end up just sitting there like a lemon. No matter what we are talking about, wherever I am, I have to think what I'm going to say and make sure that none of what comes out of my mouth can be turned against me. I'm very conscious of people who hang off every word and turn it against someone just so they can sound like the better person. I loathe people who think they are high and mighty. All the way through High School I came across certain people who remark a piece of work as "the easiest thing in the world" and insist that "anyone who cant do that is an arse" or words to that effect. To quote the great "Wild Bill" in Band of Brothers, those people have "their heads so far up their own arse, that lump in their throat is their goddamn nose". While these people are finished doing the work and sit back bathing in their own magnificence, there are people around them desperately trying to finish or find the answer. It's fine if the person who's finished stays quiet or at least helps someone else, but those small remarks are just so bloody demoralising and completely unnecessary. Anyway, back to the point. Yes, it's probably just a confidence related point but I always tend to leave the other person to start a conversation. Once it's going I've got no trouble holding my own. Ish. Dammit.

Topic 15 - How I Find Time To Make Media

Ah deary me. Well number one I don't have a job (yet) which is a major contributor to having feck all to do. I know a fair amount of people who have more qualifications than me, and have been out of a job for over a year. Plus after hearing that the local Tesco will not even hire one of them, why do I get the impression I'm going to be out of work for a long time to come? This, plus the whole 6th Form cock-up I mentioned in my first post, just reinforces my opinion that it's not what you know, it's who you know. Number two, it's a summer holiday. Just finished 6th Form and have nothing planned until September (probably). Whether this means that once the holiday is over this blog will be forgotten, who knows. I doubt that somewhat because now I know how many people visit my blog thanks to a handy little app recommended on a forum. Number three, I have always found time, even when I've had tons of homework, to record an odd movie, draw an odd picture, or just catch up with all the latest friend updates on Facebook and the like. Only recently have I really got used to managing my time efficiently. Walking the dog more often is an example of that I suppose. If I really am going to have to retake some lessons I must try and stay focused (something which I mysteriously lacked during the first year of 6th Form).

That's that! Now there's 15 topics (2 of which changed from their original state because of complete mind block), which means 3 down, 17 to go. Currently I'm drinking tea (as per usual) and just browsing the news. Nine people feared dead after a helicopter collided with a light aircraft in New York, a 19 year old is charged with murder in Wales and the UK may have to stay in Afghanistan for 40 years. Well that's jolly uplifting. Until next time...

flump_3@hotmail.com

TTFN,

Matt.

From Now On, Losing Is Verboten!

2009-08-06T19:57:00.000+01:00

I promise the next post will be Part 3 of Topics Galore and both that and the post afterwards will be a little lengthier than this one today. Plus not all about gaming, I swear! Anyway, as promised I shall now convey to thee fellow people my little email I sent (spammed) to Valve, plus it's reply. Assuming you have read my first introductory post, I have decided to venture forth into the world of Games Design (with much inspiration coming from Valve). As stated in the previous post, when I emailed them a couple years ago I was perhaps a little immature, so looking back at the question I asked always results in me face-palming. If I could turn back the clock, I would have just searched for an answer either on the Internet or via Valve's very own Developer Commentary in their games. But anyway, here goes nothin'...

My Question

What does it take to get into the gaming industry?

Thanks for your interest and support of Valve. What does it take to get in to the gaming industry? I can’t give you a concrete answer, but, after speaking with several of employees, I can offer up these suggestions:

1. Hone your analytical skills. As a mental exercise, break down anything around your in life into its base elements. Try to figure out "If this were a game, what would the goal be? What would be my resources?". You can break anything down into meaningful quanta. School, marriage, cars, getting a job...anything could be turned into a game. It's very important for a game designer to know how and why. You be the game designer, and you decide.

2. Build a mod! The Source SDK gives you the tools that we use to make our games (http://developer.valvesoftware.com). You can program new monsters, weapons, faces, or design your own levels. Counter-Strike and Day of Defeat started out using the original Half-Life SDK. They were both created by people just like you who wanted to show what they could do with cutting-edge technology. There's no better way to learn how to do a job than by actually doing it, and a mod gives you exactly that opportunity.

3. Build. Tinker. Experiment. Get a set of creative tools in your hands and put your theories to practice. Make stuff. Save it. Be ready to tell people what you learned from making it.

4. Don't ignore board games. Some video gamers don't pay attention to the lessons they teach. Most if not all of the classic, archetypal game mechanisms can be found in games such as Monopoly, Life, Scrabble, etc. Not only that, but you can actually play these with your friends that DON’T game – watch what they like about it – observe what makes them want to play again.

5. Coming up with cool ideas is not the hard part. Everyone has them, they get you excited, but you’re not going to get rich or famous just because you have an idea for a game. People are going to listen to you and give you money only when you can actually make the game. So lower your head, keep those ideas alive, but work, work, work to prove you can make those pie-in-the-sky dreams actually happen. Remember that 99.9% of people who work in video games are going to spend their whole career making someone else's idea come to life. If you're not going to be happy with that fact, you may not want to make games.

6. Go to school – any school – not necessarily just places like DigiPen (although it’s a GREAT one). Learn how to work with OTHER PEOPLE. This is key – A LOT of different factors, ideas, talent, etc go in to making even the smallest part of a game. Being able to accept other’s ideas and champion your own, AND do it all with tact, is absolutely essential. There is no “I” in TEAM – but there is an “M” and an “E” – hmmmm – kidding of course.

7. Get your name on a shipped product – it speaks volumes. If you can say "I crunched with a team in the zero hour to get this software out the door", then you instantly have the base level of respect that game developers share with one another.

8. Invest in a good chair – and commit to a workout regimen – you’ll need them both.

Keep building, keep learning and most importantly, keep playing.

Good luck,

Katie Engel

Katie is the Manager of the entire Valve Office, so administrative stuff is her main duty but also "plans damn fine parties" according to her profile space on the Valve website. Plus in the commentary track for HL2: Episode 2 she can be heard explaining how Uriah (the lab coat wearing Vortigaunt) was thought up and that his internal name is "Labby". Anyway, for those wanted to know a little more, I hope you've gained something here today. Until next time...

flump_3@hotmail.com

TTFN,

Matt.

Topics Galore - Part 2

2009-08-03T23:46:00.012+01:00

So, here it is. The second part of an eventual epic 20-parter. A few developments have occurred for me after the last post, most notably I've got into doing a bit of drawing again. Most of which are random doodles which aren't really worth posting, but one of which I am quite pleased of. It's Manga, and therefore extremely difficult to get eyes right; however I do believe this is one of my more successful attempts.

I promise you I shall post some more once I get round to finishing them. I've already mentioned that I'm a slow drawer so it may be some time before you see another one I'm afraid. Anyway, to business! I am destined to write about 5 more Topics, taking you up to a grand total of 10 by the end of this post. So without further ado...

Topic 6 - How Flickr Did It Right

This leaves me in a little bit of a quandary, seeing as I hardly ever use Flickr. But, it is a very mainstream website and I wager most of you have come across it at least once before. Flickr is a photo and video sharing website, much like Photobucket (which I use to store random images so they can be posted on various Forums). The main difference about Flickr compared to any other hosting websites is that there is a much larger limit to storing capacity, and a larger capability to share your photos to people around the Internet. As of mid-2008 they allowed users to upload video. A function which has been copied by almost all other hosting sites since then. In regards to why they are so successful and how they "Did It Right"; it's because they always seem to be the first to come up with new functions and features, like the video upload. YouTube are only now starting to catch up with the fact that people often like to download the original video file, something that Flickr started. So yeah, go Flickr. Well that went alright seeing as I know nothing about it... NEXT!

Topic 7 - How Best To Comment On A Corporate Blog

Errmm... I'm going to change that slightly otherwise I'll just have nothing to write about.

Topic 7 - Best Way To Get A Response From A Company

Now I have something to work with, since I have actually emailed a fairly major company and got a response. Back in the day, oh about 2005 (when I was a little bit too immature for my own good and often made rather embarrassing mistakes which I still look back on and think "Why?"), I sent an email to that god-like company us gamers tend to worship: Valve. Being a novice at contacting companies, I thought I would get a response within a couple of days. I naively thought that there would be a bunch of people dedicated to answering mail, glued to the computer screen for eternity like a World of Warcraft addict. I banished the thought of even remotely getting an email from someone high up in the industry or someone worthwhile, other than a secretary. Alas time went by, a week, then two. By the start of the third I decided to email them again, but this time with a twist, and I do believe, the secret to getting a response. Spam. Spam, spam, spam. I sent an email every other day, and then after I found their fax number, I wrote my email out and faxed it to them, every three days. I became transfixed, I just wanted a reply, how hard could it be for them to sit down for a few minutes? Then they wouldn't have my spam to worry about anymore. Three weeks later, I got a reply. Not just a small, one or two sentence measly reply that seems to say "I am high and mighty, thus I do not have the time to speak to mere mortals such as yourself! Be gone with you! Desist with your spam!", oh no. I got a very well thought out, extremely kind and well written response by someone that cared. Plus the responder was someone pretty high up, which surprised me to say the least. Not only that, a week later I received a package through the post which turned out to be a gesture of thanks and good will. Terribly pleased, I sat back and beamed with joy. However, like I mentioned earlier, I soon felt a bit ashamed and slightly guilty. Spamming seems a bit immature in retrospect. But if you are desperate for results, that's the only way forward! (I shall put up a post later containing the contents of my email to Valve and my reply, because I genuinely think every gamer interested in development can gain something from some of the words within.)

Topic 8 - Way To Save A Bad Time At A Conference

Having never been in a conference, I'm going to post a few tips to save yourself from getting in a rut during a discussion or debate. They are fairly simple really, things that perhaps your parents have drilled into you (preferably not literally) during your time in high school before heading off to an exam. First up, if you have notes, rehearse speaking through them. I always had trouble reading things aloud, even more-so nowadays when I'm nervous because of that annoying sudden change in pitch mid-sentence. The last thing you want to be doing is be in a group discussion and end up shuffling through your notes, thus missing other peoples suggestions. Secondly, and this goes with notes, stay focused. Listen to every word and try to make sense of it in the grander scheme of things. You wouldn't want to get bogged down in your notes then have a question aimed at you, only to respond "Err... oh... um, could you repeat that please?". Also, if the discussion is important, make sure you have some questions lined up and take down some notes. If not, bring a voice recorder along. Be a team member by contributing to the discussion with something constructive. If any of you watch the Apprentice you would know that most people on there bicker and moan about a bad decision rather than just getting on with the job. For heaven's sake don't become one of them! Lastly, just be yourself, act naturally. Don't get too worked up about it. It'll only get you down later on. Oh how cliched that sounds...

Topic 9 - How I Find Blogging Ideas

Well, how DO you find blogging ideas. It is a tough dilemma since your mind suddenly goes blank at the most crucial moment. It reminds me of a part in the book 1984, where the main protagonist Winston Smith starts to write an illegal diary. In a day where all media and writing is state owned and there is effectively no free will, he buys a book from a shop in the dark alleyways of the city and his mind fills with things that he could write about and rushes home. However as he leans over the page ready to put pen to paper, his mind freezes. He gets irritated and feels he must put something down, just because the page is there. He ends up writing complete rubbish about being at the cinema and someone standing up in the middle of the screening. This is the problem I still have. You feel you have to write something, but fear the only thing you can talk about is events that have happened to you that very day. You don't even contemplate writing something about current events, or about some sort of recent news story. Just sort of a detailed schedule of what you've done since you got up. Mine would be very bland since I've been stuck in the house all day. So to return to the original point, I find blog ideas from either A) browsing the Internet for other blogs and see what they've written or B) something about me but relate it to a recent event in the news or locally. Well there you go... short but sweet.

Topic 10 - Somebody Has To Say It

We've all been there before, right? You're in a class full of people your own age, the teacher draws something on the board and usually the most immature person of the lot says "Huhuhu, penis...". Now there's only really a couple of lessons this can occur in; Science (classic one of drawing a test tube upside down) and Maths (graphs). This has also happened in a Geography lesson when the teacher drew a meandering river, to much snickering going on behind his back whilst he was blissfully unaware of what he had just drawn. Other than penis "jokes", the only other situation I can think of right now is the mentioning of AIDS. Ever since Team America: World Police was released in 2004, with its AIDS related song right at the beginning an' all, the mentioning of STD's in Science and other lessons always ends up with much talk of AIDS. Even in Geography, again, with the mention of Africa some people can't resist shouting out AIDS. I mean really... what the hell. I suppose I can also include for this topic, the concept of Godwin's Law. For those who are unaware, here is the main gist of the idea: "As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazi's or Hitler approaches 1". It's probably my favorite Internet law, since 9 times out of 10 it is so very true. How many times have you seen in YouTube comments or forum threads the long argument about America entering WW2 and the whole debate about Nazi's and Hitler? It happens all over the place. Not only that but the other topic of religion. If a religious debate opens up between an Atheist and a Christian, I'll just run in the opposite direction and throw myself into a cupboard and hide. I can't stand it because no side can ever win. It certainly doesn't help when you have friends from both sides who inevitably argue every now and again. Ah they'll never learn...

There we are, 5 more topics. 2 parts down, 18 to go. Currently I've just finished eating a bar of Dairy Milk (something which I haven't done since Easter) and I think it's now time to make a jolly old cup of tea. Until next time...

flump_3@hotmail.com

TTFN,

Matt.

Tranquil Times

2009-07-31T23:29:00.008+01:00

Ahhhh...

Do you ever have those moments where you feel like you can listen to a song for days on end and never get tired of it. Or where certain songs seem to relax you so much that you stop whatever you're doing and just listen intently. One of those moments crept up on me and it seemed to nudge me into writing a blog about my recent adventures. By the way the song in question is Climbatize by The Prodigy. I find myself pressing the back button many times when it nears the end. I can just imagine myself driving on a motorway at night... endlessly. The streetlights blurring... minimal traffic... cruising to an unknown destination... with all the time in the world. Sorry, I should snap out of it. Quick, find Lady Gaga on the radio! That'll make me vomit out of this state...

To business. For those of you who have Twitter (here's me; VTApinapple), you may have come across one of those mass Twitter subjects called "#lameclaimtofame". For all you outsiders, this is where everyone posts something that they've done, or post an event related to them regarding a celebrity of some sorts. So for example I can see some randomer has posted "I've met Robert Llewellyn #lameclaimtofame". I decided to join in with this pointless event. Now for those who are aware, I could have posted exactly what that randomer had said. I have indeed met Robert Llewellyn, star of Red Dwarf, Scrapheap Challenge and his Internet show CarPool (a show where he gives various celebrities an interview whilst giving them a lift in his car). I recommend the Stephen Fry episode greatly. I could have also put "I've had a conversation with Chuck Norris' stunt double" or even "Gabe Newell sent me stuff" (now that's just bordering on boasting, I do apologise). But what I ended up posting was this; "I went to school with Louis La Roche". I wager that the majority of you won't have the foggiest idea who I'm talking about. Friends who went to the same school as me will know immediately who it is after this image.

When I heard he was actually touring in America, my original thought was "Holy crap, that makes 3 successful musicians to come out of Lowestoft in the last 5 years". OK so he isn't mega-well-known as of yet, but leave it a couple of years and I'd wager he will become quite a figure. Heck, he's already been played on Radio 1 and gathered a healthy following on MySpace (216,000 no less). A simple Google search reveals almost 4 million results and a similar YouTube search shows a myriad of videos. The most watched of which (and one which I recommend the most) being the Thriller Remix. Maybe I'm just years behind heaping praise on Brett, but I am genuinely impressed someone my age has pretty much made it. I've only recently found out so don't kill me! And in the remote chance he actually reads this, two thumbs up!

Moving on... As mentioned at the bottom of Part 1 of Topics Galore (the second of which will be here shortly after this post), I mentioned a friends 18th birthday house party. There was indeed much loud music and much alcohol. However I was very, almost pleasantly, surprised that not a lot of it was drank. I myself had the equivalent of about 2 pints, but no one was near the "pass-out, be sick in the bath" stage. Which was good. However the leftover drink was perhaps not good for my friend. Who now has a fridge full of lonely cans. As with most parties these days, I always take my laptop. A trusty source of music and light entertainment if things get a bit boring. Or, the combination of the two being: Audiosurf. I remember once when I was playing a song in the common roof at 6th Form a couple people looking over my shoulder remarked "How the hell can you see where to go on that!". At first glance, yes I agree it looks like some sort of 90's rave, what with all those different colours and fast paced blocks of mentality. However people forget I'm a gamer, and gamers being gamers tend to spend a bit of time working out and acclimatising to certain puzzles or situations. By Jove, give me a physics based puzzle or a reflex orientated slalom and I'll get the gold medal every time!

Anyway, that's enough from me this time. I think smaller post's will do if it's just for explaining my recent trials and tribulations. I'm currently being spammed with lots of Facebook emails about this new "Stalker Check" application. It is rather funny seeing arguments and weird twisted love stories spring up, just because so and so has been looking at someones profile the most. Oh well, back in the box it is for me! Until next time...

flump_3@hotmail.com

TTFN,

Matt.

Topics Galore - Part 1

2009-07-28T01:30:00.011+01:00

First of all, an apology. The font which I used on the former post played havoc with the editing process (my excuse for buggering up the formatting), and I'm not exactly a pro at HTML coding so cant be arsed to edit it. Hopefully this one will all turn out better. I've been struggling to think of stuff to write about for a long time. This problem, I am pleased to report, is not limited to just me. Another friend of mine who started a blog many moons ago struggled to think of things to write about, fairly quickly after they started it. I am also pleased to report that, as you can see, I have thought of something to do!

So, most of you will have noticed that this post is a "Part 1" post. Logically that means there must be further posts to come (unless you are illogical in which case you may think it means I've contracted the Bubonic Plague). That's because I have decided to venture forth into a new Mini-Series which, surprise surprise, involves a Galore of Topics. After a quick Google search, you may stumble upon another blog that lists/suggests 100 different topics to write about. I don't have the time to do 100 separate lengthy posts about each topic (well actually I probably do but that's besides the point), so I'm going to devote each part with 5 different topics to flesh out. Logically that means there shall be 20 "Parts" to this series. Illogically this means I've eaten a toaster.

Topic 1 - How I Use Facebook

I'm not really a sort of person who just adds, adds, adds friends. Currently my friend count is a very round and exact 100. Although I swear it also counts the "Become a Fan" pages in that list. In fact I can see straight away that Gabe Newell isn't technically a friend. Maybe a God, but I certainly haven't met him or spoke to him in person. Everyone must have some "friends" in their list of added people who aren't really friends, just people who you've heard of or seen briefly at school. I have ignored requests in the past to people who I thought were complete arses; I can't help thinking they will just want to make a mockery of me, so I'd rather have the final laugh and click "Decline". I always tend to update my status at least once a day (same goes for twitter, although a lack of a good phone with mobile Internet means I visit that less). Any links I post are on the go, things I hope people will laugh at or be interested in. For example new technologies or things on the Internet that are gaining popularity quickly. I try not to go with the trend of trying loads of quizzes or strange "How naughty are you?" spamming tactics. Primarily because they fail miserably. I used to, but just can't be bothered right now.

Topic 2 - Ways I Embrace My Audience

This makes me think. I always like to feed off constructive feedback. That can be seen in my Art and English lessons at school. One thing I did in art, for example, was get impatient and end up wasting lots of paper, never thinking to correct any mistakes or work them into the final piece. Now, even though I take a very long time to finish drawings to a standard I feel happy with, I don't destroy forests. I haven't really had an "audience" as such before. An Internet audience I think is a very different sort of audience to a Theatre/Television audience. On the Internet I know (or at least I do currently) that only the younger age, and therefore more Internet-savvy people, look at my blog. I'm still really on the learning curve as to how I do a blog effectively, to keep people reading and get people to come back. All I can do at the moment is post links to here via Facebook and my MSN name. You never know, one day I might attract an audience from further afield. If that happens, I will know I'm doing something right.

Topic 3 - Should My Town Use Social Media?

Now, I feel I must explain what Social Media is first before you all get immensely confused or put off. Basically the way things are run in Town Councils at the moment is: a person or group of people decide on an interesting new scheme or, for example, they want to build a new statue in the town centre. This idea is then forwarded to the council who put the idea to a closed public meeting at the town hall, and a verdict is made as to whether the statue is put up or not. Social Media is a modern way of allowing everyone in the town to have their share, to put their word in, and to make each individual voice count. Social Media is basically a localised Wikipedia. A topic is created which everyone is free to make changes to, add comments and make notes on, where you can accurately show how many people are in favour for putting the statue up and where you can see what people from what area want to make X changes to the design of the statue. Personally I think this would be a great idea for Lowestoft. I argue that most people only know about changes being made, once work has already begun. Not many people are aware that you can put in your own input whenever you please, so either an online Lowestoft-pedia or a large, heavily advertised local Forum would be something interesting.

Topic 4 - A Community I Love

In the ideal world I would have said I love the community that I live in and that everyone on the street helps each other. But alas, that just doesn't happen any more. So I'll turn to online communities, because I know a fair few good ones. First of all, to cater for anything a budding developer needs: FPS Banana (a site which is very temperamental, but has a vast amount of custom creations including maps/skins/scripts/sprites and of course, mods when it works) and the Valve Developer Community (a constantly updated wealth of information for Source Modders). Then of course there's the Steam Forums, where you can always find an admin to help you fix a problem, and rely on the members to come up with some sort of new fad, or even relay some brilliant news (the leaked Meet the Spy TF2 video being an example). However, as with all forums, there are some annoying people who intend on causing as many arguments as possible (Trolls). Then for me there's the gaming communities such as =VTA= and UKCS/GTFO Gaming. 'Tis good.

Topic 5 - Technology That Empowers Me

Just a warning to people - there will be a lot of geeky stuff in here. As I've said earlier on, I lack a good phone with mobile Internet. My current phone is comparatively ancient to an iPhone, being one of the first phones that had a video capture capability. Perhaps I'll put that on the next Christmas list... The only two real pieces of technology I have which enable me to do more stuff than I was able to before are my main Desktop computer and my Laptop. The Laptop more so because I can now take it wherever to update my blog and also play/mod games on the fly. It's powerful enough to create levels for the games I love most and also has enough memory to run pretty smoothly, so I'm more than happy with what I've got. Just for reference, it's this model; Acer Aspire 8930G. When I bought it the normal sale price was around £1100 and I got it for £800. My desktop on the other hand has had a very turbulent existence. The original computer my parents bought in 1999 and came with Windows ME (worst piece of Microsoft software of all time since it crashed every hour for no reason). This was then updated to Windows XP on the same hardware and stayed like this until around 2002 when a new Graphics Card (NVIDIA GeForce 5200 FX) was installed (replacing the bog-standard integrated graphics). This stayed the same, right up to 2005 when the card was showing its age by not running applications as smoothly as it once did. A new card was installed (NVIDIA 6600 GT) and all was good for another couple years. In 2007 a lot of new technology was being released to the public, such as the new 8 series NVIDIA cards, the new Dual Core processors, Windows Vista and also Direct X 10. Me being me, I couldn't resist the lure of lots of shiny new things, so pretty much the whole computer changed. Motherboard, RAM, PSU, CPU (Intel Core 2 Duo E6400) and GFX Card (NVIDIA 8800 GTX). A couple minor changes were made, such as adding a new hard drive, another Gig of RAM, a new Case with better cooling and all was well. Then, on Christmas Eve 2008, the GFX Card went bang. I would have still had that computer today if it wasn't for that problem. Nothing was wrong with it. So, I took the opportunity to add a 5.1 sound card and had to get a new GFX card. Beings I got a new 28" Widescreen monitor for my birthday I thought I'd go all out and get a 280GTX. The problem I have now is that the processor is a massive bottleneck and it's really showing its age. But hey, I can't complain. I'm probably a bit too fortunate to be an only child.

So there we go, that concludes the first Part of the Topics Galore series. 1 down, 19 to go as it were. If anyone found the same list of 100 topics that I plan to expand, then they'll know that Part 2 is going to be a bastard to write. Currently I await some friends to come round so I can transport them to an 18th birthday house party, which logically involves much loud music and alcohol. Illogically it means everyone will be taking part in a Morris Dancing festival.

flump_3@hotmail.com

TTFN,

Matt.

Gigs

2009-07-22T13:17:00.026+01:00

Well the whole idea of a daily/every other day blog post certainly went out the window rather quickly didn't it... more like monthly the way things are going. I always go through a sort of "phase" where I think I should do something, something that others will think highly of and hopefully enjoy. For example making a YouTube video (shameless plug for my YouTube page: lmaonaisse) or doing a few drawings. One of those moments crept up on me a couple months ago to start a blog, but as with all urges, they fade away and you forget all about them. Which is mainly why I haven't updated this in a while.

The same sort of "meh, I'll get round to doing it later" sort of attitude has, I'm sure, plagued us all at some point. Another project of mine is/was to do a Half Life 2 walk through, which involved recording an immense quantity of game play and then editing an audio commentary on the top, talking about my various, hilarious escapades and the awesomeness of Gordon Freeman in general. I got to the point where all the game play was recorded (at the expense of buying a new Hard Drive to handle the 500 Gig needed), and started editing each YouTube installment. Then when it came to recording the commentary... this is still the stage I am at today. I simply get stuck. I find it extremely difficult and embarrassing to both speak the script that I write and then listen to my own voice during the editing process. I just end up thinking, what if people don't like my voice? What if I get comments about it on forums or on YouTube? If I do get bad comments, then maybe what if they're right and I really am just a bit of a tit...? I get so worked up about it. It makes me cringe and shuffle uncomfortably at the possibility of such things happening. That particular feeling has made me stop projects prematurely in the past. One being about possibly starting my own vlog. But again, that's even worse than a commentary because people will be able to see me. Damn my lack of confidence, it really does bring you down.

But yes, to the topic of "gigs". To me it means both the geeky side of things (of which I've already touched on briefly) and the musical sort. Two main but not only parts of my life. For those who already know me and are familiar with a certain University, it would seem fairly obvious that I've spent more time in the vicinity of the NTFS variety of "gig" than the UEA type. And they'd be right. I have never set foot in a single sort of gig, concert or festival. Primarily this is almost certainly to do with the fact that I don't listen to radio and don't spend countless hours channel swapping bloody useless music channels (which is why I hated being in common rooms at 6th Form). So really I have no understanding of what's at the top of the all knowing, generation defining, singular "chart". The UK's chart system seems a bit too crammed full of the Pop/R&B/Rap side of music to really span the entire nation's taste in my opinion. But oh well. As you can tell, I was probably born in the wrong era. That isn't to say I don't like any new music; Prodigy, Muse, and Gorrilaz albums can be found on my shelf, along with Kaiser Chiefs and Stereophonics. Everyone loves some sort of band which others find completely strange and maybe out of character, and I have to admit I do have a liking for Jamiroquai. Other than that I really can't stand anything else that spews out of Radio 1 and the god-awful Kiss radio station. Also, I don't really love those bands enough to justify going to see them live, they just seem a bit too... popular.It really is one of the world's greatest mysteries that all gamers tend to be big Metal fans. Maybe its the nature of the games themselves which influence us, but it is rather uncanny to find that most FPS lovers out there have a few Metallica albums scattered about the place. Of the 4 albums of theirs I have, I can honestly say that I could listen to all of them from start to finish and be a very happy bunny. The first band that really introduced me to the whole Metal world was a relatively unknown band called Threshold (especially here in the UK even though they're a Brit band; they spend the majority of their time touring in Europe.). I've probably spent the most time playing these two bands on my Ipod than anything else, and they would be my main choices that I would jump at the chance to go and see live.

During Primary school I started taking Piano lessons, and even though I live in a bungalow we bought a Piano and put it in the hallway. Consequently you simply could not walk past it whilst someone was playing, and even when the chair was moved out of the way you had to breathe in to get by. Only now do I regret giving up the lessons, because I have a lot of spare time on my hands which could be used constructively. I also feel the want to learn a musical instrument more nowadays because most of my friends have taken up playing guitars and getting into bands etc. Some even can play the Metallica songs which I listen to the most, which is terribly annoying because I would so love to join in. Anyway, it was round a friend's house where I found out who the awesomest, the most brilliantest, epic guitarist on the planet was, and whose music has made me get hold of 7 out of his 12 albums. Being sneaky I simply "borrowed" them off a friend; it's all good.
Joe Satriani is his name, and he truly is one of the greatest; he taught many of today's guitarists including Metallica's Kirk Hammett. He has toured and been involved in making albums with many different bands, and his style means he has played everything from Heavy Metal to Jazz and Blues (the latter two I am now quite fond of). Currently he is touring with his new band called Chickenfoot, which includes two former Van Halen band members and the Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer, Chad Smith. The only time I've heard him mentioned in the UK was when he sued Coldplay for effectively stealing his song "If I Could Fly" and adding lyrics to make "Viva La Vida". I laugh at Coldplay. But he has played in the UK before, to much critical acclaim. I really must keep an eye out... So yeah, in the way of music, that's pretty much where I stand. The odd other song from various bands and a few compilations here and there along with the older generation stuff like Queen, Lynard Skynard, Deep Purple and The Who; you get the idea.

Right, moving back to the geeky stuff. Ish. I don't want to scare people into submission with any technical bits and pieces. Yet. I mentioned at the start briefly about me getting a new external hard drive for storing shite-loads of video data. Now I'm guessing at least some of you have one as well, on which you store pictures, videos, and of course music. My music collection isn't really that immense yet, so it hasn't really spilled over onto the funny black whirry box thing currently on my desk. Since it's my first external I've had I really wasn't expecting the immensely slow, painfully long transfer speeds which surprised me quite a lot. But after I stepped back and thought about how much stuff that's actually being shoved down that tiny USB cable I realised just how impatient not only I've become, but also how impatient our generation must be. We want the fastest Internet, the fastest phones (the new Iphone 3GS really shows how impatient we are), the fastest computers, the best this and that. Every single one of us is spoilt. We are given all these new gadgets and new things to play with and then we moan that we have nothing to do; we get bored of most things after a very short amount of time. We've grown up in the era of the Internet, news from around the world at our fingertips, a whole library of information at our disposal, and yet we still moan about how "we weren't taught this" and "no one told me about that". We expect to be fed information and have really become too lazy to just spend a few minutes on the simplest of websites.

Aaah maybe it's just me being an arse, but I really wouldn't mind just having a simpler way of life. Where everyone has the same stuff, and if they are in need of updating, they all get updated at once, automatically. Then no one would have any grudges or jealousy about others having a better car or computer, better phone or TV, better house or decorations. God I really do sound like a Commie... Actually I wouldn't mind it so much if our way of life was more like the Monty Python "anarco-syndicalist commune" idea (remember the scene where King Arthur is talking to two poor people who collect mud for a living). That idea, but obviously with modern technology instead of the entire "coconut halves for horses" thing. That just wouldn't work if you wanted to travel to Vegas for example. But that whole concept of electing a leader for a week, then moving on to someone else, would be brilliant. Everyone would have something to change, as long as it was for the benefit of us all I think it could work quite well.

Anyway that's enough of my Communist/Anarchic propaganda for one day. I now have leftover Maltesers that need to be eaten, otherwise I may just have to slap myself silly. Oh and by the way, here's my email/MSN address, just encase anyone feels the urge to spam the crap out of me with Viagra and Cialis scams;

flump_3@hotmail.com

TTFN,

Matt.

Time was on my side.

2009-06-20T19:57:00.005+01:00

So, I may as well start by telling you who I am.

My name's Matt, or as gamers tend to have two persona's, I also vaguely respond to Pinapple (pronounced. pin-apple). I'm 18 years old, slowly but surely coming on 50. Time definitely isn't on my side any longer.

I suppose what drove me into getting a blog is the fact I have many free days ahead of me, courtesy of A-Level exams finishing, along with all hope of ever attaining a place in University. You just know when you haven't made the grade; as soon as the pen lays on the table and the slow trudge to the exit you just knew would happen actually takes place, the depression sets in. As you look to friends and ask,

"What did you think of that?" and they reply,

"Piece 'a piss", all you can do is agree, except every part of you doesn't. Or maybe that's just me. Something I'll never find out.

My topics at school, or rather the local 6th Form, were I-Media (basically art on computers, a mix of Game/Graphics/Web Design), Art & Design, Geography, General Studies (which I continued for a second year basically for a laugh) and Maths.

Maths. Oh dear. Where do I start.

For my GCSE Maths I was 2 measly points away from an A*, the highest grade attainable at GCSE level. Compare that to my 3 U grades (lowest grade possible) I got after my first year doing A-Levels, and you'll have a pretty good picture as to why I quit Maths for the following year.

To this day I regard the moment I got my AS (first year) results as the turning point from being thought of as a bright young person, to pretty much being a recluse. Attendance went out the window. Any work I had attempted for I-Media before this date was no longer looked upon. It would always be looked at "tomorrow" or "later". Art lessons became, in my mind, a chore rather than the fun times they previously were. Being a perfectionist when it comes to drawing (often erasing a single line on a piece of paper even if it looked slightly off angle), my work drained to a minimum purely because I had lost the will... to achieve...? Not sure if that's the right way to put it. I just felt fed up with the whole "homework" idea, the whole "learn this because it might turn up in the exam" and note taking of the most pointless things. Why should I have to be taught or forced into learning about "Waste Management" in Geography, and research artists purely so I can get a good mark and some UCAS points, but not being allowed to draw what I want? Artists are supposed to have freedom, not have government restrictions about what you can and cannot do.

The teachers would be surprised if I turned up to an art lesson (rather unsurprisingly). Later in the year, phone calls were made to home and my "base" school (for our 6th Form is made of 3 schools and lessons take place at all of them). Mid-term reports and predicted grades were never looked at, and I still refuse to look at them. I intend to either burn them or save them for later in life to look back at and compare to how bad things were.

UCAS and the whole University system is another thing that makes me rage. After driving countless miles to Open Days across the country, listening to their presentations about how many awards they've won and testimonials from former students (only to find out the campus is right next to a sewage works, or the word "chav" seems able enough to describe the entire local population including the teachers), it makes me wonder if it was all really that necessary. More headaches and migraines were present during those few weeks than pretty much my entire life beforehand. The process was then repeated when an Interview was needed. What my chosen University's didn't have on their website is full information about requirements needed to get in. So when I looked and saw they wanted passes in all A-Levels, and 40 UCAS points from an AS and only A-Levels with between 6 and 12 Units were counted, it's pretty much safe to say I'm not getting in this year. Only Geography has 6 units, the others have 4 or 5 (not to mention General Studies isn't counted by most Universities as a proper subject).

Very little hope remains now because I decided to pack in I-Media aswell. All in all I still wonder why I even bothered to go to 6th Form. It's just making me both depressed and stressed.

Aaaaanyway...

Aside from all the down and lonely trials and tribulations of being a student, there are the up's. Being 18 there's the pubs and the general roudiness that ensues from being out with friends. Although I know how to limit myself in that respect. All of the above mentioned + too much alcohol, an Alcoholic makes.

Drawing is another topic that keeps me happy and occupied, so long as it's out of the context of "Coursework". I'll see if I can post some in one of my later posts.

Gaming is yet another, rather obvious, taker-uperer (???) of my time. In a good way. Not only has it inspired me to venture forth to become a Level Designer later as a full time job, but it is also very social. For well over 2 years now I've been part of a gaming community called "Vent That Aggression" (or =VTA=). Rather against the name, all the members are kind at heart and would help you out as much as they can if prompted. Indeed, I even called apon the community to help me out to record some vlogs for my A-Level art exam the following week. Not only can gaming bring together people who perhaps would never think about talking to each other in person, it can also bring about jobs and respect. Anyone who doesn't know what a mod team is, google it. Some mod teams become famous by getting noticed for what they produce and drawing the attention of big companies. For example the mod team behind a game called Narbacular Drop was picked up by Valve and thus became Portal. Perhaps the most internet-savvy game in existence. With the exception of Team Fortress 2 :P Can't get enough of the Meet the Team videos.

So yeh, to round off a lengthy first blog: I'm now an ex-student with no idea what to do next except continue making Levels and hopefully join a Mod team. My dog's called Toffee, and I shall hopefully be adding a blog daily, if not semi-daily :)

TTFN.

Matt